Tolerable
by AvengingBlue
Summary: Kyoya and Tamaki have never worried about their somewhat strained relationship. Instead, Tamaki's worries lie in Kyoya's inability to open up to him when his body begins to show suspicious signs of a heart problem.
1. Flashback

Tamaki never disliked Kyoya. On the contrary, he rather enjoys him. Kyoya, on the other hand, is much harder to read. Almost always attached to his clipboard, his quiet and calculating composure is normally intimidating to many of the Host Club members. It's because of his scary aura that many prefer not to talk to him. Granted, he has his fair share of girls, but not nearly as many as the other members due to the fact that it's difficult to engage him in conversation. Tamaki rarely has a problem talking to him, and many wonder why. Everyone who knows Kyoya Ootori is aware that he oftentimes thinks only about his own best interest, but what they don't realize is that Kyoya has human feelings, too. Human feelings very similar to the way Tamaki feels about him.

Kyoya never disliked Tamaki. On the contrary, he finds him quite tolerable. Tamaki is hyperactive and always happy, while Kyoya isn't. Despite this, Tamaki isn't the easiest of people to correctly analyze. When he met the blonde, Tamaki was a middle school child who had transferred from France. His knowledge of the Japanese culture was incredibly flawed and his manners just as bad. Now, a second year in high school, the same child who dragged him from place to place simply to go sightseeing is an urbane, polite high class student with many girls following his every move. Kyoya has never been the jealous type, but sometimes he simply wants to keep Tamaki all alone just for himself. It was only after school that Kyoya had his chance.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. Most of the kids immediately left while others who were in clubs or on teams for practice stayed behind. Those at the Host Club were forced to stay after school to clean the mess that the Hitachiin brothers had made during one of their eccentric plans for Haruhi. Tamaki exempt her from cleaning and Haruhi was one of those who gratefully and immediately left because she had to do commoner things. Honey said something about it being boring without Haruhi around, so he and Mori were the next to leave after doing their share of work. Hikaru and Kaoru stuck around for a few minutes before sneaking out. The lazy twins hated cleaning and had become fond of getting home fashionably late anyways. This left Kyoya, the club's accountant and vice president, and Tamaki, the club's president and self-proclaimed "father" to clean the rest of the mess alone.

The abandoned music room was rather quiet save for the faint noises of folding fabric and various surfaces against glassy tile. Both Tamaki and Kyoya would steal glances from one another when the other wasn't looking, but they both knew despite their attempts at furtiveness.

"I think that's everything." Tamaki looked around the once again pristine room with a triumphant smile on his face. "I can't believe we did most of this by ourselves." At this Tamaki threw his arms out in a grand gesture toward the general area, now smiling at Kyoya, who couldn't help returning a small smile back at the only other man in the room.

"I suppose we can go home now," Kyoya says as he looks down at his hands, rubbing them together to get the dirt and dust off. Not only did he have homework to do, but he wanted to get away from the "king" as soon as possible. He couldn't stand being one-on-one with such perfection anymore.

The smile on Tamaki's face faded and his arms fell to his sides. "Home?"

"Yes, Tamaki." Kyoya took his glasses off to clean them. "I have homework to do, and I'm positive you do, too." He put his glasses back on to find a look of disappointment staring back at him. He was sure that Tamaki was trying not to be too obvious about it, but nothing gets by Kyoya. The feeling between them became tense, and it took a while for the onyx-haired boy to speak up. "Is there something wrong?"

Tamaki shook his head in response, but decided against looking back at his friend. Instead, he seemed to find sudden interest in the far away wall to the left of him, where the door belongs. Perhaps he was contemplating something important, but that didn't matter to Kyoya at the moment. Not knowing what came over him, he stepped toward Tamaki, only pausing when he stopped in front of him. The two meet gazes again, although it isn't a comfortable one. Tamaki's depressing expression was replaced by one of curiosity as his violet eyes stared intently into Kyoya's black ones. Then, before he could stop himself, Kyoya grabbed Tamaki's face, leaned in, and kissed him. Only upon finally reacquiring control over his own body does he quickly retreat, but the damage had already been done. Tamaki stared at Kyoya with his fingers just barely touching his warm lips and Kyoya could only stare back as they both blushed and considered what course of action should be taken next.

"Kyoya," Tamaki finally said, bringing his hand down by just half of a centimeter. "Why did you do that?"

"I-" It took longer than Kyoya had expected for him to answer this. The question Tamaki had asked was so simple, but even someone as intelligent as himself couldn't put together the right words to plausibly respond to such an inquiry. Should he tell the blonde that he likes him? Does he have the courage to say that he wants to lie with him? Could he express just how much he wishes to hold Tamaki's hand so he could let everyone know that he's not up for grabs? "I don't know." The lie came out so smoothly that Kyoya had a hard time telling himself that it was a lie in the first place. "It must be hormones." He was always taught in his writing classes to reinforce his statements, so that's just what he did. Kyoya is smart, but he's still a teenage boy who has urges just like everyone else in the world. Hormones make a good excuse to strengthen a lie that has to do with why you just kissed someone.

"Oh..." That same look of disappointment washes over Tamaki's features once again as he takes a new found interest in the floor. Was that not the answer he was looking for? Thinking back, the last time Tamaki made that look was when Kyoya mentioned going home, and now, after noticing a spark in those purple eyes when parting that kiss with him, the same look returns when Kyoya gave him an excuse in place of his real feelings toward the blonde. Even someone as romantically challenged as Kyoya can put two and two together.

"I like you." Kyoya didn't want to say it, but at the same time a great weight lifted out of his stomach when the words clumsily fell out of his mouth. Tamaki looked at Kyoya when he heard the proper response, and although his look was no longer depressing, it wasn't exactly happy, either. Kyoya would say that the expression on Tamaki's face was more careful than anything else.

"What?" Those purple-blue eyes blinked noticeably at his new question.

"I like you," Kyoya repeated. It really kills him inside to have to repeat himself, but at this point he would do anything to hear Tamaki say that he likes him, too. "I mean it, Tamaki."

"I thought you would never say that..." Tamaki looked back down at the floor to hide a wide smile. "I like you, too, Kyoya."


	2. Feelings

After that fateful day they had become secret lovers. Tamaki, strangely enough, was the one who proposed the idea to keep everyone in the dark about it. Kyoya saw the logic behind it – the Host Club would take great damage if both its president and vice president were suddenly known to be gay for one another – so he agreed without a second thought. At some points he rues the pact the two had made, but he forgets his regrets when they have time alone.

"Kyoya," Tamaki moans from under his lover. The blonde's legs are wrapped around Kyoya's waist and their hands are clenching the other's almost desperately. Even Kyoya can't help but at least pant during their intimate fornication as the two meet eyes. This doesn't happen often, but it isn't rare, either. Kyoya feels that they make love just enough to get by, and he's okay with that. He only worries about Tamaki, who is needy enough for the both of them thanks to his childhood or lack thereof. Kyoya also doesn't mind this, because Tamaki's neediness makes the onyx-haired boy feel wanted, a feeling that is rare to him all in itself. Only every now and then does Kyoya worry that Tamaki will realize his love for Haruhi and break away from him to leave him all alone, but during moments like these all his worries fade away and his main focus is on Suoh, Tamaki and doing everything in his power to make the blonde feel like he's on top of the world.

When they're done with their love-making the two lie down next to each other and stare up at the ceiling without saying another word to each other for the rest of the day. Even when Kyoya leaves they simply exchange a sloppy kiss before Tamaki watches his lover exit his room. On rare occasion Kyoya will stay the night because his low blood pressure will fatigue him, but the next morning he'll slowly wake up and leave an already awake Tamaki to get ready for school on his lonesome.

Sometimes Tamaki wonders whether Kyoya really does love him. His inability to keep conversation and somewhat harsh attitude could make anyone wonder. He doesn't talk to Kyoya after sex because he's too busy thinking about why Kyoya won't talk, too. Tamaki is aware that his gray-eyed partner prefers the silence, but even when leaving he doesn't utter a "goodbye" nor a "goodnight" when falling asleep next to him. It's not that he minds, really, but an overactive mind such as Tamaki's forces itself to believe the worst.

Kyoya almost always does things for his own benefit, but he wouldn't use Tamaki like that. Watching the stoic sleep, Tamaki considers what would happen if he was the one who got to leave every night. Would Kyoya want a kiss or a "goodbye"? Perhaps he would ask for Tamaki to stay the night every time he tried to escape. If anything, Tamaki asks himself if Kyoya would be sad to see him go.

"Kyoya," Tamaki whispers. The addressed male opens his eyes, staring at Tamaki grumpily.

"What?" The blonde should probably get this over with relatively quickly. He doesn't want to disturb the Hypotensive Devil for much longer.

"You still love me, right? I mean, you wouldn't ever use me..." In retrospect, those words probably could have gone under a little more construction before letting them out to the general public. Tamaki lowers his head to avoid Kyoya's gaze; he doesn't want to see the look on his lover's face after such an accusation had been made toward him.

Shock washes over Kyoya's features. There isn't much in the world that can completely awaken him, but a question like that from Tamaki will surely get his attention. "I would never use you..." Tamaki is right in assuming that, but it hurts to hear him ask anyways. Kyoya knows that he's not exactly the easiest to get along with, but they've known each other for years and he should think that Tamaki of all people would know better than to throw out so carelessly an insinuation such as whether or not he's been using the blonde all this time. "Why would you ask that?"

"No reason. I've just been thinking." Tamaki still won't look at Kyoya, but he doesn't care as long as the violet-eyed child knows that he's not being used in any way, shape, or form.

Kyoya bends his head down a little and kisses the top of his boyfriend's head. "Go to sleep, Tamaki. We have school tomorrow."

"I love you, Kyoya." Tamaki doesn't even remember telling his body to say it. The words just slip out, but for some reason the moment feels right.

"I love you, Tamaki," Kyoya responds. His eyes are already closed, and even though Tamaki isn't tired yet, he forces his eyes to do the same so he can go to sleep and get the ritual for tomorrow morning over with.


End file.
